Time goes by so fast, doesn’t it? All of those important milestones like when your child starts to walk, learns to read, rides a bike (and a two-wheeler at that), becomes proficient at a sport; all of them giving parents some big smiles of pleasure and joy.
And then comes the milestone that is the game-changer… your teen got their license!
For many teenagers getting their license is the ultimate rite of passage signifying an ability to break free from their reliance on friends and/or family to take them wherever it is they want to go. Yes, it signifies freedom and for teenagers freedom is truly exhilarating. (Note that for urban kids their rite of passage arrives when they are able to travel the subway system by themselves!)
But for parents this rite of passage brings much uncertainty. Allowing your teen to get behind the wheel of the car (not just your car but ANY car) is fear inducing. The trepidation is natural because we all know that teens and cars can be a frightening combination.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are a few things that you can do to keep your teen safe when behind the wheel of a car:
Give your teen lots of opportunities to drive so that they can gain as much as experience as possible. Do you need to go to the store? Ask your teen to drive you. Going on a family road trip? Make sure that your teen does some of the driving too. A big cause of accidents (large and small) is that teens lack driving experience. They simply don’t know how to react to every situation and unfortunately they are going through their learning curve at 50 miles per hour.
Establish specific rules about how many passengers can be in the car when your teen is driving. The more passengers the more distractions and your teen must understand and obey the guidelines that you have established. A good rule of thumb is to limit the number of passengers for at least the first six months and especially at night when the potential for trouble is at it’s highest.
You know that snappy little BMW that you are thinking about getting for your teen or perhaps it is some other top of the line new car. Don’t. Luxury model new cars accelerate too fast and they are so hermetically sealed and quiet that there is often very little indication that you are driving way too fast. Better to get an older (yet safe) and sturdy car that isn’t flashy and doesn’t scream out “hey, lets go for a ride!”
We want our teens to carry their cell phones because we want them to be able to reach out if they need help but, of course, we don’t want them to drive and talk or text. (There are way too many horror stories about accidents caused by a split second look at the screen.) You MUST establish firm rules and there are no exceptions. If your teen needs to send a text or make or take a call they must pull off the road. I would suggest a little vigilance in this area and perhaps check the phone’s text or phone logs (with your teen in attendance) to see if they are sticking to the rules. And if they’re not, well, their driving privileges are suspended until they learn to stick to the rules.
Set the right example. Parents that look at their cell phone when they are driving, that drive over the speed limit, go through stop signs are sending the wrong signals to their teens. The safety rules apply to ALL…that means parents too.
Sure it’s scary when your teen gets their license but it’s liberating too. Remember when you had to stop what you were doing to take or pick up your son or daughter or had to plan your evening around pick up time at the soccer practice. Those days are over.
That liberation that they’re feeling applies to you too and just as long as everyone follows the rules for safety, it will be a wonderful time for all.
